We have made a “Riaz Malik Corner” on our site (Pakistan Blogzine) to give space to views which, on the surface are completely, totally and utterly opposite to our ideals. There is an interesting subtext though.
Here is a brief profile of Riaz Malik which he provided when Pakistan Blogzine emailed him for setting up a Riaz Malik Corner:
“I am a proud Punjabi businessman imbued with the Leftist ideals of genunine right-wing Marxist, Zaid Hamid, and the tolerant Sufi ideals of Malik Ishaq, with whom I share part of my distinguished name. Hazrat Imran Khan is my political ideal and the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan under the rule of Hazrat Mullah Omar 1997-2001 is my ideal form of government.
My chief goal in life is to feed my under nourished five-foot-two frame which weighs in at a paltry 124 kilos. As a humble Islami Marxist, I subsist on the Spartan fare of nihari, payae, chaanp, keema, paratha, omellete, pairan di lasi, malai khaja and given this simple fare I occasionally splurge on better fare for lunch and dinner about 5-6 times a week.
My favourite authors are Maulana Ashraf Thanvi, Hazrat Shah Waliullah, Samad Khurrum, Ibn-e-Tammiyah, Imran Khan, Zakir Naik, Zaid Hamid, Talat Hussain, Ejaz Haider, Moeed Peerzada, Noam Chomsky, late Azam Tariq, Tariq Ali, Syed Qutb, Tariq Ramadan, Fatima Bhutto and Omar Sheikh (Darb-e-Momin). Even though Ayatullah Khomeini was from an infidel Rafzi background, I think the Muslim world owes him a debt of gratitude for evoling the Khilafatist Vilayat-e-Faqih model of totalitarian democracy headed by priests with a divine mission.
You can see that I have read a lot and this I have achieved by getting good for nothing lazy Sindhi boys to read these divine classics to me while I watch Pakistan’s Walter Cronkite and Barbara Walters, who are Talat Hussain and Hamid Mir of course.
Pakistan was made when Allama Iqbal got Quaid-e-Azam to enter the Matrix of Islami nationalism invented by Muhammad bin Qasim and chacha Hajjaj bin Yusuf. They both combined Platonically to give birth to Neo or Chotu Niaz as he is known in my village of Lahore. When he emerges, Pakistan will become the Theo-Demo-Khalifat welfare Tajir state that Morpheas (Chacha Mofees) wished it to be. Many of us think that Imran Khan is Chotu Niaz and Hamid Gul is Morpheaus. You can’t see Trinity as we got her into a burqa and what is a women doing out of the kitchen anyways.
My political ambition is for Imran Khan to be installed as the head of a Bangladesh model by the only genuine Awami party, the Pak Fauj of course. It will be PTI jiyalas who will then cleanse the PPP of treacherous, dark, poor and smelly Sindhis, Makranis, Balochis and Seriakis along with those who don’t agree with the jurisprudence of the Taliban pov. Same for the walnut Pushtun Pistachios who have betrayed the Taliban. The 7 % who support the Taliban we will treat as noble savages as so beautifully articulated by Hazrat Imran.
I am sick and tired with all the criticism against Hazrat Imran. Sure he does not possess a 3 digit IQ but get him into a gym and he will beat Zardari, Nawaz and Asfandyar with one hand tied behind his back, his pecs, abs and hair transplants glistening with the hard-earned sweat of an honest workout.
In concluding, I would like to leave you with the immoral original verses penned by me:
O Kaptaan my Kaptaan,
We will rage against the dying light
And Not go out gently into the night
My Name is Riaz Malik
And I love you Imran Khan
Links to Hajjaji’s pearls of wisdom: